at the end of the day,

tegan and sara - you wouldn't like me

REALITY KEEPS ME AWAKE

kate voegele - wish you were

i don't know the difference between then and now
how do you know when it ends and it's over and good and you can completely and fully move forward without regrets, or at the least come to an understanding that things won't be how they were ever again but that better things can happen,

or maybe it's not even supposed to be better, maybe things will never be better, but just missing that piece of what is in my head as "good", i'm going to be one of those girls who are always "broken" who no one want wants to pick up and mend

patience is so hard, waiting and praying on things and conditions and people, all seemingly unattainable
my parents' true colors always show eventually, just when i think they love me unconditionally, i come to see their intentions and i'm threatened and thrown off guard by their need for me to be at their standard and this burden is gaining weight cause i know in the back of my mind that i'm going back home soon, and things are rarely good at home, but really patience with family, and the latter, is frustrating

make me whole, Jesus

conversation

what ever happened to good conversation, genuine conversation where you know others really do care about your problems your joys your sorrows, what ever happened to conversations glorifying to God, sharing what God has done in our lives, sharing about who He is and His character and just building each other up with words of encouragement, what happened to reminding other believers that picking up the cross is not easy but that we are there for them, what happened to uplifting conversation where you know that there is hope for what seems hopeless, where every detail in your life matters to someone, what happened to conversation where there is no judgement but an outlet for day to day struggles, what happened to encouraging one another to take in some spiritual food, to spend time in prayer, just hangin with God, what happened to really being there for each other, day and night, when we feel most down or feel most high, whether it be something that happened or just the way our day went, disaster or success, what happened to just loving on each other, wanting to share in struggles and all, where did it go, and God can you bring it back in my life, cause i am human, and i need people, i need fellowship and friendship, because i'm not a machine and i am fragile and weak and i desire to be loved and cared for, and God give me the strength to do the same for my friends and brothers and sisters in Christ, believers and non-believers that i would love them the exact same because it is because of You, because You first loved us, and because i am nothing, God may the things that break Your heart break mine, God that i would care for my friends' struggles, and rejoice in their triumphs, and encourage them through my words my actions that i would extend a love that You command, amen

i'm having a tough time.

brandi carlile - what can i say

o lord what can i say
i am so sad since you went away
time time ticking on me
alone is the last place i wanted to be
lord what can i say

try to bury my troubles away
drowns my sorrows the same way
seem that no matter how hard i try
it feel like somethings just missing inside

how rules can i break
how many lies can i make
how many roads can i turn
to find me a place where the bridge doesn't burn

):

dyslexia

i have dyslexia

snow patrol - make this go on forever

i don't know where to look
my words just break melt
please just save me from this darkness

uh this is no quoting joke.
yes, i'm referring to you, christinavickieapriljanelle
sorry i'm not happy and peeing rainbows and gold
sorry i'm dead to emotion.

oh but from the streams of tipidaow comes the rushing waters of the fiji mountains, a little woman sits at the bank of the river, collecting the precious waters into a delicate debeers capsule, not allowing her human hands to belittle the finest and purest water in which she crystalizes using her crystalizing machine made with diamonds and rubies, drenching the crystal ice chips in the finest gold in the land, and then she transports the crystalized ice by boat, not allowing her find to leave her sight, and sailing to mount sinai she carries her debeers tongs -- coated in jems and diamonds, as she begins to pick the fruit and herbs from the forests of the mountain, slowly placing each fruit and plant into separate silver cups to seal in freshness, the sun is hot, she places her straw hat on her head for she cannot faint, which might cause her to drop the delicate fruit, she then with her large microscope, scopes for tiny flowers to capture and press, she picks only the finest, those of perfection to compliment her crystalized ice cubes, she then pours all her findings onto a sheet of glass, dipping and churning everything in gold and silver, she then returns to america to her little log cabin, which today we know as momokos.

"content"

Hey guys. I'm very happy and blessed. i've got a bangin' body.
I love christina.

chris brown - with you

and i will never try
to deny that you are my whole life
'cause if you ever let me go
i would die so i won't run
i don't need another woman
i just need all or nothing
'cause if i got that
then i'll be straight
baby you're the best part of my day

i bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
with the love of their life who feel
what i feel when i'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you
with you, with you, with you, with you, with you

so i'm in this group called momentum, it's this dance thing, and it's pretty awesome
there are a lot of real chill people in the group and it's cool to just hang around people who are in different places in their lives than myself

i've been really tired lately
and i gotta pick up this school thing
cause i want to come back next year to ut to live in that suite that we better get (;

i've done a lot of thinking lately
and there's just too much to handle
too much to consider, and too much to prioritize

and i think i'm still angry

snow patrol - chocolate

my heart is dead to emotion

(:

cartel - runaway
fall out boy - calm before the storm
onerepublic - all fall down
snow patrol - chocolate

logan square - i'll get there
playradioplay - complement each other like colors
snow patrol - make this go on forever
postal service - nothing better